Telogen effluvium

No, it's not some kind of new virus or previously undiscovered species of parasite. It's a possible reason why I have spent much of February and March looking like a chemotherapy patient -- losing GIANT wads when I wash or comb my hair. Chihuahua sized wads.

While I cannot rule out low iron or estrogen, or high vitamin A or selenium, I can rule out a thyroid disorder (doc checked when I was home for Spring Break) and post-pregnancy hormonal changes (I mean, I'm missing a HUGE part of that equation) and my doc doesn't believe my coumadin would start making me lose my hair 4-5 months after starting it.

So telogen effluvium seems like a contender, but you tell me --

Telogen effluvium: This is the general term for sudden, temporary hair loss as a result of recent stress or surgery, which typically occurs around two months after the causative event or illness.

The hair loss was sudden, and I pray it is temporary. But the result of stress that happened two months prior . . . what could that have been?

Arthur C. Clarke dies

For the full story, including a listing of his many scientific and literary accomplishments see here.

I haven't read much of him, but I've liked what I did read. I liked the Odyssey series, and I adored the Rama series. It saddens me to think that another great mind has left us.

I'm one of a kind

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 0 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

How do these things happen?

I am a self-professed child hater. OK, maybe hater is too strong a word. Kids are fine, as long as they go away after an hour or so. That's usually my time limit for restraining myself from popping off their little heads.

If only I was as hard-hearted as I'd like to be.

I admit it, OK? I've a soft spot for my cousin's kids. I'm getting ready to send an email to my "brother-in-law" practically demanding to see my "niece" when I'm home for Spring Break. And then there's my "nephew" and his chubby little body.

What is it about these kids that makes me bond to them?

With Hadley, I think it was that he was born three months too early. The day after he was born, I dreamt I was protecting him from some unsee-able evil force. Seeing that fragile little baby when he was three days old just reinforced the need to protect, to keep him safe from all boogie-men. Bonding to Jenika and Lakyn is a natural extension. As an ecologist, I might argue kin recognition -- in not having children of my own, I bond to my kinspeople's children.

With Jamie, it's being friends with her mom since we were in our early teens. It's hearing that she told her mom when she was 2 or 3, "I love when my Aunty Dawn reads to me." It's the way her face lights up when she sees me. It's that unconditional love, no matter what I look like.

With Cylis, it's his mom being one of my soul sisters. It's those toothless grins he gives to me and not to his sperm donor, the cooing and giggling he shares with me. It's that this four month old baby knows me well enough and trusts me enough that when he wakes up crying, he stops when he sees me even though he hasn't yet seen his mother. He trusts me in that moment to keep him safe.

When did I become such a softie?

A big dose of cuteness

Taken 16 January 2008 by Nico

Not much to say

I just wanted to have a blog post dated 29 February. Yeah, I know I'm special.

My poor little girl, part II

Pictures of Reba's ear

What a day!

Check it out here.

The Right Place

We all get those days where we feel stressed, whiny, etc. We feel like we've lost touch with our dreams, that we'll never achieve them. Sometimes, what we need is a shift in perspective to get us thinking about those dreams and our happiness. I've had two today in the span of two and a half hours.

The first: An episode of Babylon 5 (did I mention I now have the complete series on DVD?). It was a science fiction series of course, but its creator/writer J. Michael Straczynski had some pretty profound things to say. Today, in the second season episode "A Distant Star," Captain Sheridan wonders if Earth President Clark made the right choice in naming him the new commander of B5. Delenn, ever the philosopher, remarks, "The Universe puts us in places where we can learn. They are never easy places, but they are right. Wherever we are is the right place at the right time. The pain that sometimes comes is part of the process of constantly being born." We are constantly changing -- as a species, as individuals -- constantly growing, constantly remodeling our goals, our needs, our beliefs. We are constantly being born. While it is difficult to comprehend why the Universe allows war and sickness and poverty and particularly gimpy days and delays in getting that computer and putting students in charge of things they have to rearrange their schedules for, it is comforting to know I am in the right place. The fact that I ultimately get back on that plane and return to New Orleans means I am in the right place. Sure, I don't have that thought in my head every moment of every day, but I do eventually remember it. Other days I rail against it, but I always come back to it and find some peace within it. I am in the right place.

The second: A modified, shorter version of Carnegie Mellon professor Randy Pausch's "last lecture" (video below). The complete original lecture, with closed captioning, can be found here. The part that really resonated with me was when he said brick walls are put in our path for a reason -- to test how badly we want something. In everything that's happened in the last two and a half years, I'd lost sight of what was important to me.

At least, I thought I had.

Hurricane Katrina. Kidney stones. Acidosis. Numb bum. Another kidney stone. All Paul's illnesses. Blood clot. Depression. Paul's death. Dad's prostate cancer.

And yet, I kept coming back to New Orleans. I moved back after the hurricane. I returned after every trip home though 80% of me wanted to stay. I guess I hadn't forgotten what was important to me -- at least on the subconscious level.

I am in the right place, and I badly want this.

I'm not complaining . . .

. . . but I am experiencing a sense of contentment and calm that I haven't felt in the entire year and a half I've been back in NO. I'm still suffering from a bit of motivation lack, but nothing compared to the previous 16-17 months. The really puzzling part is that I have no idea as to its basis -- read = how would I be able to get back to this shiny, happy place if depression were to come creeping back into my neighborhood?

I don't think it is merely the abundance of sunshine and mild weather. Nor do I think it is dependent on happy baby energy.

The contentedness and peacefulness are not unmarred -- I had a meltdown last week when the elevator broke down (AGAIN!) as I was trying to leave the office, and I started crying yesterday evening for no apparent reason (and I'm beginning to suspect that bout wasn't ME, i.e., I think I might have been feeling someone else).

It's quite strange -- but I'm probably over-analyzing. Need to enjoy the ride and see where it takes me.

Comment Moderation Enabled

I had an extremely annoying anonymous comment to one of my recent posts that was LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG and nothing but gibberish (one portion -- God is a computer playing an RPG). I couldn't just delete the comment, so I deleted the post and thus every comment attached to the post (sorry Michelle). I have now enabled comment moderation because though those types of posts are infrequent on this blog . . .

THEY IRRITATE THE SNOT OUT OF ME!!!

So all you people who have no life and no friends and think it's HIGH-larious to comment anonymously on people's blogs with long-winded BS . . . no more on this rhino's blog, baby.

Gakked from Jess

You're the time of day right around sunrise, when the sky is still a pale bluish gray. The streets are empty, and the grass and leaves are a little bit sparkly with dew. You are the sound of a few chirpy birds outside the window. You are quiet, peaceful, and contemplative. If you move slowly, it's not because you're lazy – it's because you know there's no reason to rush. You move like a relaxed cat, pausing for deep stretches that make your muscles feel alive. You are long sips of tea or coffee (out of a mug that's held with both hands) that slowly warm your insides just as the sun is brightening the sky.

It's hard to have a bad day . . .

. . . when your three month old nephew smiles a toothless smile and pudges out his cheeks at you. Not that I was having a bad day when he and his mama came over today, but the little booger is just

So. Damn. Cute.

Meme-age

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Sad commentary on society

I just saw an ad geared toward kids, and its tagline was "Get up and play an hour a day." That in and of itself was pretty sad. I remember when I was a kid how we couldn't wait to get home, finish our homework, and run outside. Winter was hell because we were cooped up inside. Now we have to come up with dopey little songs and catch phrases to get kids outside and interacting with other kids.

But the truly sad part of the ad was when an Internet address was given where kids could go to "get fun playtime ideas."

WTF?!?!

Has it gotten that bad? Do kids not know how to play outside? Make a mud pie? Look for bugs, worms, and other creepy crawlies under rocks and pieces of wood? Play fetch with the dog? Jump rope or hop scotch?

But then again, these kids have parents that have to drive three blocks to the grocery store.

::sigh::

Weather Report

Tomorrow in Inman, Kansas -- snow showers, wind 15-25 MPH, 29 F

Tomorrow in New Orleans, Louisiana -- strong thunderstorms with possible tornadoes, wind 15-25 MPH, 66 F

We now return you to your regularly scheduled LJ/blog.

Oops!

I was informed yesterday by Nico that my "nephew's" name is spelled Cylis.

Think someone would've told me by now.

On the eve of the three month celebration

I was cleaning up my Photobucket albums last night to make room for pics when I realized I never journaled about my little "nephew's" birth day.

My friend Marlo here in New Orleans decided she wanted to have her baby at home -- partly out of her natural hippiness, partly because of her distrust of hospitals here in NO. As part of her decision to have a home birth, she invited several friends to be at the house when she gave birth. Reba and I were two of them. The following are pictures generously given to me by Nicholas Krebill, more affectionately known by the NO pack as Nico, who took far more pictures than these throughout the day's events. Thank you, Nico!


Marlo, two and a half weeks overdue, on the day she gave birth.

In the backyard




Relaxing in the kitchen




I was called by my friend Kim in the early afternoon of Sunday, 28 October. I could hardly believe I was finally getting THE CALL since we'd all been waiting on it for a month. Kim came to get me, and we arrived to Nico's wonderfully constructed ramp to get me in the house. I hung out in the kitchen until Kate (the dullah/midwife) told me M was asking for me. Reba and I went to her room and sat with her and her partner William through a couple contractions -- Reba actually leaped over my legs onto the bed to plaster herself against M.

This was my first birth, so I was completely unprepared for how I would physically react. As the contractions became more intense, the energy built and built inside me, even when I was in another room. Just before M gave birth, I was in the kitchen trying to ground the energy. Reba, ever the comforter, was making the rounds, putting her head in various laps between contractions, pacing during the contractions.

Suddenly, we all knew it was time. M had settled in the bathroom, so everyone crowded in the hallway outside, most everyone being able to see. Reba tried shoving her way into the bathroom and couldn't understand why I told her "no" and Kim pulled her back. All she knew was Aunt M was hurting and she had to get to her.

Because of the number of people in the hallway, neither Nico nor I could see into the bathroom -- but we could tell what was happening just by watching Kat.

The birth begins




Almost here




Welcome to the world!




That's when the surprise happened. All through her pregnancy, M was sure she was having a girl. Surprise!




Just after the birth




After moving to the bed, Grandma Mary (M's mom) looks on




Then later holds her new grandson




He wasn't as tiny as he looks here. He was 8 lbs, 4 oz a few days after the birth, so I'm guessing he was at least 8-1/2 at birth.




A few happy friend pics

Wendy and Rachel




Me, Laurie, Noah, Glen, and Kim




Kate, Kim, and Jayden




And Papa gives me my first up-close look




And last but not least from the birth day, my favorite pic of all




Poor guy went nameless for nearly a month while Mom, Dad, and Papa considered names. They finally settled on Cylis Ulysses Jude Walters.

Finally, here he is, at a month old, sleeping in Aunty Dawn's chair while Mama helps Aunty Dawn into bed.

Happy belated birthday

Belated birthday wishes to my Aunt Chrys and to Lynlee -- both of whom had birthdays yesterday. I called them both on their days but forgot to post wishes on the blog.

I'm the intellectual nerd?? No way!

Swiped from Nate

I never ONCE caused havoc at Summer camp. I was the perfect picture of innocence. I always followed the rules, I never instigated raids, and not once did I participate in a massive shaving cream fight.

Yeah, I was pretty much one of the Don Corliones of the camp.

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